Taking care of the “baccha” inside you….

The child we were once, continues to live inside us influencing every thought, every emotion, every movement and every action. Many of us in adult bodies still react like children, still attached to parents, never having broken free from the attitudes and beliefs acquired in youth. This inner baccha(child) is part of our personality which is playful and spontaneous, having fun and craving to be cared and understood.
Like a real child, the inner baccha is starved of love, warmth and understanding, is easily hurt and may become depressed and withdrawn. Psychologists say that the inner child is a permanent fixture and those who become hurt easily or depressed on an innocent remark are still preserving that inner child demonstrating the traits through their behaviour. Jiddu Krishnamurthy during one of his sermons narrated the story of two monks- One old and the other young. They reached a river bank at sunset and saw a young woman sitting helpless as the last boat had already left. She was frightened too because of the surrounding forest area where wild animals roamed about and came to the river to drink water. Realising her predicament, the elder monk volunteered to carry her across the river, the water being shallow.
After reaching the opposite bank, the Monk put her down and the two monks renewed their conversation while proceeding to the monastery. After a while, the young Monk told the older One: “You should not have carried that woman across the river as you have violated the rules of celibacy”. The elder Monk replied: “I put her down an hour ago but you are still carrying her in your thoughts”. The elder Monk has his aldult mould and the younger one still carried the child within.
We all know that the past is dead but we carry it in our thoughts. Man can change only if the past is detached, forgotten or erased. There are some people who recall and relieve their past days, expand the sorrow and make themselves miserable. We can’t have a better tomorrow if we are thinking about yesterday all the time. There are some who breakaway from the routine and do something innovative and new, which again is the inner child playing games with new ideas.
Sir Julian Huxley said: “It is all too obvious that in the great majority of human beings, the greater part of their possibilities, whether physical, spiritual, intellectual or aesthetic, remains unrealized”. To enjoy a better life, we must focus on our potential, not our limitations and concentrate on what we do well. We must exploit our natural abilities and aptitudes. The world is full of unsuccessful people who have talent but lack confidence and tenacity, who feel that no matter how good they are at something, someone else is bound to be better. But, what prevents this individual to become better than before, higher than before and attract recognition than before? Benjamin Franklin, one of the signatories of the American Declaration of Independence made a list of 17 personal qualities and habits, which he wanted to acquire. He realized that he need not to attempt all the 17 in one go. He worked on one, then another and mastered the 17 habits and completed the entire cycle three times in a year. EPICTETUS wrote: “Nothing great is created suddenly any more than a bunch of grapes. If you say to me that you desire grapes, that requires time. Let it first blossom, bear fruits and then ripen”. Two important qualities essential for man are patience and persistence. Lasting change takes time and when the going gets tough, how much better we feel when we achieve something worthwhile by sticking to it. Thousands of people have talents. But the question is how many of us have the patience to discover it through persistence and staying power? People who take risks invite failure but at the end it is success, when we stay with it. Henry Ford the car-maker said: “Failure is the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently”. When we take the plunge, few feel terrified but within a short time, we are able to do everything which we had set out to do. Confident self-talk helps us feel better to handle problems more easily. Words and sentences that imply that we are helpless and incapable or interpreting that things are worse than they actually are, feeds the person with potentially damaging ammunition creating negative thoughts and negative results”. Issaac Bashevis Singer wrote: “If you keep on saying that things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a Prophet”. Two qualities that are essential for bulding a happy and fulfilling life are Prayer and Patience.
The challenge is to be Yourself in a world trying to make you like everyone else. To preserve individuality, we should avoid being a carbon copy or duplicate of someone whom we may admire.

Conversation with God....

God: Hello! Did you call me? Me: Called You? No….who is this?
God: This is God. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat. Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something. God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too. Me: Don’t know. But I can’t find free time. Life has become hectic. Its rush hour all the time.
God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it. Me: I understand. But I still can’t figure it out. By the way, I was not expecting you to buzz me on instant messaging chat. God: Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with. Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated. Me: Why are we then constantly unhappy? God: Today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That’s why you are not happy.
Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional. But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty. God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer? God: Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don’t suffer. With that experience their life becomes better not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such experience is useful? God: Yes. In every term, experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can’t we be free from problems? God: Problems are purposeful roadblocks offering beneficial lessons to enhance mental strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.
Me: Frankly, in the midst of so many problems, we don’t know where we are heading. God: If you look outside, you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight. Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God: Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated? God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing. Me: What surprises you about people? God: When they suffer they ask, “Why me?” When they prosper, they never ask, “Why me.” Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can’t get the answer.
God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation. Me: How can I get the best out of life?
God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered? God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is No.Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start the new day with a new sense of inspiration. God: Well, keep the faith and drop the fear. Don’t believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live. Don’t expect a great day, make one!

Abort and Reset

All that happens is for good. So easy a single line, no difficult words not at all difficult to understand, but very very difficult to practice.
I have come across many such beautiful sayings, lines that instantly connect to your heart but a little thinking in solitude and a small practical lesson is enough to convince you that it is not as easy to practice as to listen and remember. Even as children we had been told about that invisible power called God, is who runs the world.
He directs the drama on earth called ‘life’ and decides and controls all events and all destinies. “Even a leaf does not move without God’s will”, were the words of the elders.
But what are we seeing in the world around us today- A newborn baby abandoned in the garbage, a brother murdering a brother for property, a mother poisoning her child because he has become a block in her extra marital affairs.
Do these things happen with God’s consent? And what different situations does God place different people into!
A beautiful bungalow decorated with colorful lights, well dressed people and women loaded with jewels moving around laughing gaily, the house is well decorated to celebrate the arrival of a new individual full of soft toys and gifts, the occasion?
The birth of a baby 14 years after marriage and just across the road under the dim roadside light is seen a young mother with two small semi naked frail figures clinging to her, fighting the cold protecting her children with her tattered saree.
Why has God placed one child in the hands of a mother who can neither feed and clothe herself nor her child, and the other in the hands of the mother who can run a river of worldly wealth. Does this happen with God’s consent? Purvakarma we are told and the mind is drawn into the intricacies of the theory of karma, birth death cycle and so on.
But this is just not done, why should someone be wronged and someone be favored?
Even around us we find in good numbers people who are watching all our actions and just waiting all for a chance to throw barbs of piercing words at us. They will not miss any chance of hurting you and criticizing you.
Anything and anything at all will be enough for their loud mouths to open and spill dirt. Are these people any different from the mother who throws her newborn baby in the garbage or the mother who poisons her child because he is in the path of her happiness? I put these people in the same category.
The creation of God has reached the height of their self centered goals. And what about the victims of their barbs of words and actions? They cannot retaliate because of fear, but cannot forget it and break the chain of mental reaction, that pain and hurt is downloaded onto another person, so one more victim. So where does this cycle end? It begins with fear and that fear should be removed. Fearlessness will give us clarity of words and actions.
Fearlessness will enable us to give a tit for a tat, so there will be no mental reactions and the chapter is over.
But practically this is not possible, simpler said than done. Fearlessness? Can you imagine saying, “I don’t want to do that work which my boss wants me to do, I don’t care if I lose my job”. NO NO NO the job is important, I depend upon it for my bread and butter, so that puts an end to the concept of fearlessness. I fear losing my job, my loved ones, my power, beauty etc and so I have to do some things I don’t like. But the real solution is empowerment of mind and soul. The mind should be powerful enough to quick break off from painful thoughts. They should be thrown out at once. Why should words spoken by someone be given so much importance? Stop deciding what you are according to what people say about you. You know yourself and that is sufficient. How can anybody steal the peace that is inside you?
You only have to believe in yourself and believe in God, the supreme power, creator, director and destroyer!

We Have The Power To Rewrite our Life Story….

Joseph Addison wrote: “What sculpture is to a block of marble, Education is to the soul”. There is the story of a child who was studying in the primary section of a school. She had to pass through a park to reach her school. One day, in the Park, she saw a sculptor working on a huge rock chipping away parts with a chisel and a hammer.
Out of curiosity, the child asked the sculptor: “What are you doing to the rock?” The sculptor replied: “You will see after a few days”. Everyday, the child used to stop in front of the rock to watch the progress. It was still a rock with some parts removed by the sculptor. After about a fortnight, when the child was watching the rock, she saw the figure of Mahatma Gandhi emerging slowly out of it. She asked the sculptor: “How did you know that Mahatma Gandhi was inside the rock?” The sculptor smiled and replied: “Well, by removing the unwanted parts. My child that is what you are doing through education in the school. You remove the unwanted parts and keep the genuine you”.
There are other teachers in life apart from the ones in the school. The parent is a teacher teaching us what we should preserve and what we should discard. My own father used to say: “Honesty pays because when you are honest, you don’t have to remember what you said in the past. If you are dishonest, you have to remember many false things and reinforce it by repeating it”. Growing up children, sometimes become teachers. My brother used to read out passages from the newspapers, like a taxi driver returning the purse of the passenger who forgot to take it while getting down from the taxi. On another occasion, he read out an item about a vegetable vendor, who went to the home of a customer at night and returned some money as the customer had given the vendor a 500 rupee note instead of a 100 rupee note. There are people in this world who adhere to values and stick to them, come what may.
My friend narrated a story of a boy staying in a hill station who quarreled with his mother and shouted: “I hate you; I hate you”. He ran out of the house, which was opposite a hill. He went on shouting “I hate you”. An echo came from the hill “I hate you”. The boy got frightened, ran home and told the mother: “There is someone behind the Hill shouting “I hate you”. The mother understood, smiled and said: “Now go out to the same spot and shout “I love you”. Back came the reply “I love you”. Later the mother explained that there was no one behind the Hill; it was only an echo. She said: “That is life, my son. Whatever you say or do, there will be an echo, a rebound and a return”. James A. Garfield wrote: “There are men and women who make the world better just by being the kind of people they are. They have the gift of kindness or courage or integrity. It really matters very little, whether they are doing a business or bringing up a family. They teach the truth by living it”. There was that little boy studying in the school and it was Teachers-Parents meet. His mother who was otherwise beautiful had a scar on the right side of the face. The boy was embarrassed what other parents and the teachers would think of his mother. After a dialogue with the teacher, the mother came out accompanied by the teacher. The teacher asked the mother: “You look lovely but how did you get that scar on your face?” The mother replied: “Some years ago when my son was smaller, there was a fire in the room where he was sleeping. I happened to notice it and as I was rescuing him, a leap of flame hit my face, but I was otherwise unhurt. That left a scar but I don’t mind it”. The boy was ashamed and ran to the mother, and cried. We live only once in this world. That one life makes the difference because we made that difference by doing good noble act. It is upto us to make the difference or get into the groove or rut which will make no difference to anyone or the world we live in.
Ultimately, the man or woman who lives a purposeful life makes the difference altering his own life and those who come in contact with him. It also makes a vast difference separating the evolved human from unevolved animal. The human being can think, use discrimination, distinguish right from wrong and that makes all the difference living in this world.

THE PARADOX OF OUR TIMES……..

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things.
We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more but learn less. We plan more but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.
These are the days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember; say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember; to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.
Remember; to say ‘I Love You’ to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember; to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER, “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away..!”

Exploring Eternity….

After decades of ‘dormancy’ why is there is a sudden rush to the moon. Now, I have started doubting the very first landing. “Did we ever land on the moon?” The moon has been a source of allure since eons. The Russian satellite ‘Sputnik’ showed in 1957 that the space can be explored and a series of space missions followed. American astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin descended on the lunar surface in 1969.
India is too on a ‘get set go’ with the Chandrayaan-1 and rarin to go with Chandrayaan-2. Forthcoming decades will witness more space missions undertaken by various countries. But the question on my mind is “Did we ever land on the moon?” I am neither a scientist nor a sympathizer but I subscribe to the Russian expert in the field. Bill Kaysing’s view that the historical landing of Americans on the moon was a hoax.
He questions why couldn’t America think of landing again even after the passage of over three decades. With the advent of fast computers and other resources. America could have recorded several trips to moon by this time. But it didn’t happen.
Stars are absent in a snap of earth taken from moon, flag is seen waving although there is no air there, multiple shadows of the same figure despite the lonely source of light that is Sun, the plaque having letters USA written on it is visible in shadow as the sun is exactly behind the satellite, he points out.
Why there is no noise of the engine when the famous line one small step of (a) man and a giant leap for mankind was uttered, he asks. The statement was re-written latter by supplying the article in brackets that had been omitted or swallowed up in transmission. The list of doubts raising everyone’s eyebrows is unending. But my rationale is different.
Scientists all over the world use the term ‘known universe’ and avoid talking about the ‘unknown’. For me, the latter matters most. Exact speed of light calculated by scientists belonging to different centuries was different.
What does it mean? That means every new scientist proved his predecessor wrong and generation after generation were taken for ride. We are still using unscientific expressions like ‘sunrise’ and ‘sunset’. Don’t we know that it is earth that revolves around the sun?
Our knowledge is finite but ignorance is infinite. It dawned on me the other day during a wordy duel with my bachmate. “Science is useless. Live telecast on TVs can take you to Sydney in Australia but often fails to show a crow dropping on your TV’s antenna,” he would say. Another intrusion: Without milestones and name plates we cannot locate which villages we are passing through during our journey even on earth. Then how can we claim that we have landed on the moon?
The duel went on but I was lost in my thoughts. Recent space explorations have revealed that there is a debris of celestial bodies around our mother earth. The lunar module might have landed on any unknown asteroid. The term ‘continuous creation’ is in vogue today. New stars are taking birth due to collisions and explosions. New solar systems are rearing their heads. Why should we explore infinite? Isn’t it better to be a part of it? Travellers of infinity and eternity should not keep track record of such small steps. I console myself!

The lighter side of exams….

The exams are finally over and it’s a sigh of relief for most of us. No more sleepless nights and no more nervous breakdowns. Well, not for sometime at least! I presume that most of us have given over a dozen exams till today, so have I. But just last night I was recalling all those times that I sat in an examination hall and the ‘specimen examinees’ that came to my mind was all worth a good laugh.
No matter how well prepared you are, there is always that little bit of apprehension every time you sit for an examination. You try your level best to remain calm. But then you bump into the worst exam specimen- the nerve rackers.
They are the ones who come up to you 15 minutes before to tell you they ‘heard’ that the question paper is going to be the toughtest it has been in the past 5 years. They will ask you if you have studied a particular question because they definitely know that it’s going to be asked. They tell you a bunch of stories and nail biting will be the best you can do. By the end of the conversation, if you’re unaware of that particular answer, you may not have any nails left!
Now, if you’re thinking that there’s only pre-examination nervousness, then please think again. Can you recall the people who come out of the exam hall and start discussing the paper?! I personally feel that nothing good ever comes about by it.
Once the exam is done and over, there’s really nothing you can do. On discussing you may realize that your answer was wrong, and that can be quite a mood spoiler.
I mean, come on guys, haven’t you heard the phrase ‘don’t cry over the spilt milk’?? Please take my not-so-expert advice…..after your exam- don’t look left or right, shut your mouth, go straight home and go to sleep. If you still desperately feel the urge to ‘discuss’ your paper, do it when all the exams are over!
The next group of specimens are somewhat rare, but they were common during my B.Sc exams. During the 3 years of my college exams, some of the examinees would come 15 minutes late. Half way through the exam, there were a few students pulled up for looking outside the window and dreaming!!
There was also a girl who would shout ‘copy’ instead of requesting for a ‘supplement’. At first I wondered if she was demanding that she be given a right to copy (cheat) or did she really want a supplement sheet?! We science students are always accused of having a casual approach towards our exams and I don’t see any reason why they should think otherwise!!
Then there’s the naughtier lot- the abettors. If I must explain- partners in crime. When I was in class 9, I remember some of my classmates rehearsing their plan for Q. No.2, True or False. It was a well thought out, sophisticated method of cheating. No passing chits, no talking and definitely no mobile phones. A tug of the ear meant ‘true’ and a rub of the eye meant ‘false’ (I hope I am not giving ideas!!). Though the invigilator kept a close watch on us, she didn’t have the slightest idea.
Today, so many years later, it’s a bit funny when you think about all the planning that went on just for the sake of 4 marks!!
Speaking about invigilators, it was my Zoology exam. The invigilator was doing her usual check, walking up and down each row. While she passed by me, I happened to look down at her feet and saw something very queer.
I noticed that she was wearing a blue sandal on her right foot and a green sandal on her left foot. I could not control my laughter. She wore the wrong pair of sandals!!!! Until then I thought it’s only the students who are on pins when they have to enter an examination hall……but the invigilator as well?!?!?!
So the next time you enter an examination hall make sure that you have none of these ‘examination shades’…….and in case you’re the invigilator, make sure you got on the right pair of sandals!!!! :)