The English poet Robert Browning wrote "Grow old with me the best is yet to be." But if he saw the condition of senior citizens in India he would not probably have rewritten the poem. Coping with old age is becoming increasingly difficult. Young people now see senior citizens as a burden. The respect they once enjoyed in the joint family is slowly disappearing. The seniors are thought to be useless material and the seniority stage of life a curse to bear till can find the exit.
Many suffer mental and physical abuse. In Mumbai, a man and his wife locked his 68-year-old mother out of the home with food and water for the day. She was let ‘in’ only when they returned from work in the evening. This was allegedly in her "own interest" as she was absent-minded and they feared she could even forget to switch off the gas. Ironically, the old lady was the owner of the property. Her neighbours complained to the police who intervened.
Homes for the aged are becoming a reality with the joint family system collapsing and children migrating to other countries. But there is a long waiting list. There are 550 homes for the needy and the destitute.
We are a society in transition. We have neither the facilities of the west nor the care and concern for the elderly that has traditionally been a part of our culture.
Perhaps, youngsters do not bother to think about the other side of the coin which may turn around likewise one day. If they do, surely would fear the possibility of history getting repeated, when the juniors copy & follow the same ways of treatments during their old age.
The people who deal with the old people sometimes lack understanding, patience, and tolerance. The problem of coping with old people is not just found in their poor health, bad mental attitude, and a philosophy of life that runs against the grain. The people who deal with senior citizens must also have some knowledge of the problems of older people and some ability to deal with these problems. I would like 2 give some suggestions for dealing with senior citizens:
· Do not expect old people to be much different from any other age.
· Give honor and respect to those who are old.
· Learn to love older people.
· Be careful about correcting an old person's opinion.
· Treat old people just like you want to be treated when you get old.
· Old folks love to laugh, so try 2 make them laugh.
· Visit the old people n spend time with them.
The Glory of the Senior Citizen none can ever deny or deprive, when their worthy contribution display their values to the world. The Bible very clearly tell us, "Honor your older people, which is the first commandment with promise "that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth." This principle of honor is the major way of dealing with our senior citizens.
So, my friends I take this opportunity through my blog to make you realize the worth of our senior citizenz. Plz try to understand thm n be sensitive towards thm!
Monday, December 10, 2007
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Valuing your thoughts
SUCCESS of others has always remained enigmatic for those who have never tasted it. Success for sure always carries a sly look on its face. Most of the times any success is attributed either to luck, or things like inherent talent, hard-work, positive attitude and qualities like determination and devotion.
Even successful people often credit their success to one of these things. I think, one simple secret that always remains veiled up, that forms the very base of every person’s success. Abstratct yet a concrete foundation for success is the ability to value your own thoughts.
Our thoughts are product of inheritance, experience and individual logic. These would be useless unless we also have a good perception to recognize their worth.
Only those of us who have the keen perception to assess the true value of our thoughts let them out for a success journey. Others don’t and hold them in custody for they never feel these can be so productive. Hence, sometimes people with very good thoughts end up being failures for the simple reason they are not able to value their own thoughts.
I think people who can assess the value of their thoughts more correctly can succeed more than those who have adopted and applied dynamic thoughts or actions of others. We must take a distant view and look at our thoughts. We must learn to value our own thoughts. Sometimes even those thoughts, which may seem ordinary to us in reality bear a great value.
Its so important that whatever we think or feel is first valued by us and then the world shall surely value it.
Many of us feel that others thoughts are always better. Here we commit a major mistake. As individuals we often fail in perception, appreciation and valuation of self.
We must realize the length of the thoughts that lie recumbent in our mind and erect them tall. We must recognize the real richness of this home food, which can be, far above the hotel made food of ready-made thoughts. Many of us don’t realize that sometimes our thoughts are beyond price unless other people are appreciative of it. Unless others reckon they are different, and while we are still not able to fix the their ‘MRP’, others succeed adopting them.
The base of any grand success right from a hit movie from a film director to a popular story from a scribe has always been the perfection in understanding the value of individual thoughts, concepts and ideas and the emerging product testifies this perfection.
All of us have the personal wealth of ‘individual thoughts’. People like Mahatma Gandhi and Nelson Mandela who have led successful mass movements have first realized the value of their simple thoughts and made a successful application to bring about a dynamic revolution.
Before we march ahead on the success road, we must learn to value our thoughts and be our own appraisers. Let us value our thoughts first, they may seem simple but end up being simply excellent!!
Even successful people often credit their success to one of these things. I think, one simple secret that always remains veiled up, that forms the very base of every person’s success. Abstratct yet a concrete foundation for success is the ability to value your own thoughts.
Our thoughts are product of inheritance, experience and individual logic. These would be useless unless we also have a good perception to recognize their worth.
Only those of us who have the keen perception to assess the true value of our thoughts let them out for a success journey. Others don’t and hold them in custody for they never feel these can be so productive. Hence, sometimes people with very good thoughts end up being failures for the simple reason they are not able to value their own thoughts.
I think people who can assess the value of their thoughts more correctly can succeed more than those who have adopted and applied dynamic thoughts or actions of others. We must take a distant view and look at our thoughts. We must learn to value our own thoughts. Sometimes even those thoughts, which may seem ordinary to us in reality bear a great value.
Its so important that whatever we think or feel is first valued by us and then the world shall surely value it.
Many of us feel that others thoughts are always better. Here we commit a major mistake. As individuals we often fail in perception, appreciation and valuation of self.
We must realize the length of the thoughts that lie recumbent in our mind and erect them tall. We must recognize the real richness of this home food, which can be, far above the hotel made food of ready-made thoughts. Many of us don’t realize that sometimes our thoughts are beyond price unless other people are appreciative of it. Unless others reckon they are different, and while we are still not able to fix the their ‘MRP’, others succeed adopting them.
The base of any grand success right from a hit movie from a film director to a popular story from a scribe has always been the perfection in understanding the value of individual thoughts, concepts and ideas and the emerging product testifies this perfection.
All of us have the personal wealth of ‘individual thoughts’. People like Mahatma Gandhi and Nelson Mandela who have led successful mass movements have first realized the value of their simple thoughts and made a successful application to bring about a dynamic revolution.
Before we march ahead on the success road, we must learn to value our thoughts and be our own appraisers. Let us value our thoughts first, they may seem simple but end up being simply excellent!!
WHY ME?
“WHY me of all the people”, the question flashes in my our minds whenever we feel that we are at the receiving end of the unfair treatment meted out by the world. The intensity of the question and the responses to the same may vary with respect to our age.
The younger we are, we tend to react even overreact, but as we think we grow older, we respond rather than react. The reason being that we begin to understand, that even though apparently we may not be at fault, bad things can still happen to any of us.
From the moment one goes in the “Why me” mode, he opens doors to misery, compounding the already complex problem. The human mind is a fantastic library which has ready references for each of our negative and positive thoughts. It tends to give us supporting information for our thoughts process. Mind you that it does not decide the veracity of thought process. The best way to overcome such a state is regroup, reassess and the most importantly to start afresh. Those who do not do so, become confused and more likely de-motivated. As a result they try to find a person they feel is better equipped to provide solutions. Again whether the person is really worthwhile is a matter of chance. Very rarely what he tells differs from what our parents have already told us.
In a moment of weakness, one approaches some one who tells him that the present bad phase is due to the cosmic and star signs disturbances in his horoscope. The next stage is of self pity which to my mind is the lowest stage of human existence, and very few overcome this. Such persons forget the logic of numbers and the earlier instances where they were slightly lucky.
“Why bad things happen to good people?” a question that has never been properly answered. I say properly because many have tried to do so drawing richly from varies religious texts. When we verify on a logical scale the answers seem inadequate. One of the very popular explanations is to tell a person that all his present suffering is a result of the bad deeds (Dushkritiyas) done by him in his earlier birth. If you want to check out the inadequacy, try telling this to a mother who has delivered a stillborn or to a father who is a victim of a dowry death of his daughter. All your wisdom filled words would be rendered useless. When words fail, a simple touch never fails.
The other great healer is the time. How someone, somehow manages to overcome and get back to routine, regain the balance is a matter of concern to all of us. May be the best way is to tell the person: “The sky is at its darkest just before the sunrise. All it takes a ray of light and hope to dispel the darkness. May be the God is still planning the best deal for you, so cheer up, my friend and smile!” :)
The younger we are, we tend to react even overreact, but as we think we grow older, we respond rather than react. The reason being that we begin to understand, that even though apparently we may not be at fault, bad things can still happen to any of us.
From the moment one goes in the “Why me” mode, he opens doors to misery, compounding the already complex problem. The human mind is a fantastic library which has ready references for each of our negative and positive thoughts. It tends to give us supporting information for our thoughts process. Mind you that it does not decide the veracity of thought process. The best way to overcome such a state is regroup, reassess and the most importantly to start afresh. Those who do not do so, become confused and more likely de-motivated. As a result they try to find a person they feel is better equipped to provide solutions. Again whether the person is really worthwhile is a matter of chance. Very rarely what he tells differs from what our parents have already told us.
In a moment of weakness, one approaches some one who tells him that the present bad phase is due to the cosmic and star signs disturbances in his horoscope. The next stage is of self pity which to my mind is the lowest stage of human existence, and very few overcome this. Such persons forget the logic of numbers and the earlier instances where they were slightly lucky.
“Why bad things happen to good people?” a question that has never been properly answered. I say properly because many have tried to do so drawing richly from varies religious texts. When we verify on a logical scale the answers seem inadequate. One of the very popular explanations is to tell a person that all his present suffering is a result of the bad deeds (Dushkritiyas) done by him in his earlier birth. If you want to check out the inadequacy, try telling this to a mother who has delivered a stillborn or to a father who is a victim of a dowry death of his daughter. All your wisdom filled words would be rendered useless. When words fail, a simple touch never fails.
The other great healer is the time. How someone, somehow manages to overcome and get back to routine, regain the balance is a matter of concern to all of us. May be the best way is to tell the person: “The sky is at its darkest just before the sunrise. All it takes a ray of light and hope to dispel the darkness. May be the God is still planning the best deal for you, so cheer up, my friend and smile!” :)
Monday, November 19, 2007
Serving others makes life bigger
“Feel my children feel, feel for the poor, the ignorant, the downtrodden, feel till the heart stops and the brain reels and you will go mad; then pour the soul out at the feet of the lord, and then will come power, and indomitable energy.”
-Swami Vivekananda.
Martin Luther King, Junior, the American evangelist, helped thousands of people to feel that they do matter. Before he appeared on the American scene, many people believed that they were second class citizens. But the king knew that the secret of successful existence is helping others. I assert that anyone could be great by serving others and that did not require a college degree or any other special qualifications. Serving others help us to get outside ourselves. It removes self-centeredness. We may not be good-looking, we may not be smart, or accomplished, but that does not prevent us from serving others.
Helping others is an important way for us to find meaning in our lives. Many people feel self-important without recognizing the importance of others. Perhaps, that is self-deception, thinking that self is more important than others. Such people don’t understand that serving others gives some meaning to their existence and without it life is empty. Serving others makes life bigger, meaningful and enjoyable.
In winter, me and my mother were unpacking few boxes in the attic full of wollen clothes like sweaters, shawls, scarfs etc then my mother was showing me all the old wollen clothes which we no longer use. I felt its better to give those wollen clothes to some needy people. One day I was taking my night strolls when I saw a house half built and all its labourers having their dinner.There I saw a 2years old boy, wearing just a plane purple coloured cotton shirt and nothing else. He was starring at me as if his eyes were asking me “how can you feel warmth inside your shawl when here am freezing in this damn cold”. That starring look of the little boy’s innocent eyes pierced my heart.I went to home and took those “no more in use” wollen clothes out of the attic and I gave it all to that labour family then while returning home again that boy starred at me but this time his eyes revealed a kind of warmth. On one hand where the boy felt the warmth wearing the sweater I gave him, on the other hand he made me feel a certain kind of warmth of helping that soul. It may be not a very big thing for others but for me it became one. There is nothing more eventful than seeing the tears of gratitude in the eyes of others.
What I mean here is that, the important step is to search for a meaning in life without which life becomes routine. We should know that connection between what we are and what we ultimately become. Remember that there are no absolutes in life. Corruption and honesty, selfishness and selflessness, living for others and living for oneself are not absolutes; everything is comparative. There is no simple answer for all the problems of life. That is why the serenity prayer says: “God give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Duke of Willington who was is dire need of money came to India to serve, earn and marry a heiress in England. While on a campaign in the south, the Prime Minister of the Nizam wanted to get some information about the deployment of the British soldiers. The Prime Minister offered him ten lakhs of rupees for this gesture. Although in dire need of money, he refused. Willington returned to England almost a poor man. The pretty heiress suffered a small pox attack, which disfigured her face. She appeared before Willington in a veil but he did not vacillate, deviate or shift his decision. He married her and the rest is history. There is nothing absolute in life; everything hinges on circumstances.
There was a new nurse who happened to be part of a surgical team. It was her first participation in a surgery. She was responsible to account for all the instruments and aids used in the surgery. When the surgery was over, the Surgeon was about to stitch the wound. The nurse intervened and said that two cotton swabs were missing. The doctor said that, afterall, it was only cotton and ignored her comments. The nurse insisted that the doctor cannot suture the wound without accounting for the cotton. The doctor lifted his foot and showed her the two cotton swabs and said: “You will go far in your profession. My blessings are with you.”
Perhaps, the desire to find a meaning in life is part of human nature and it is something to be celebrated rather than something to be worried about. Desire is what pushes us forward and urges us to go into action. Many people spend their lives getting ready to live. They deprive themselves of daily fulfillment by postponing happiness, in favour of some future success, which may never happen. Go for it and get it now! We cannot wait for something to happen in life. The majority of people in this world are ordinary like clerks, waiters, nurses and labourers. These people are also happy because they also derive a meaning out of life!
-Swami Vivekananda.
Martin Luther King, Junior, the American evangelist, helped thousands of people to feel that they do matter. Before he appeared on the American scene, many people believed that they were second class citizens. But the king knew that the secret of successful existence is helping others. I assert that anyone could be great by serving others and that did not require a college degree or any other special qualifications. Serving others help us to get outside ourselves. It removes self-centeredness. We may not be good-looking, we may not be smart, or accomplished, but that does not prevent us from serving others.
Helping others is an important way for us to find meaning in our lives. Many people feel self-important without recognizing the importance of others. Perhaps, that is self-deception, thinking that self is more important than others. Such people don’t understand that serving others gives some meaning to their existence and without it life is empty. Serving others makes life bigger, meaningful and enjoyable.
In winter, me and my mother were unpacking few boxes in the attic full of wollen clothes like sweaters, shawls, scarfs etc then my mother was showing me all the old wollen clothes which we no longer use. I felt its better to give those wollen clothes to some needy people. One day I was taking my night strolls when I saw a house half built and all its labourers having their dinner.There I saw a 2years old boy, wearing just a plane purple coloured cotton shirt and nothing else. He was starring at me as if his eyes were asking me “how can you feel warmth inside your shawl when here am freezing in this damn cold”. That starring look of the little boy’s innocent eyes pierced my heart.I went to home and took those “no more in use” wollen clothes out of the attic and I gave it all to that labour family then while returning home again that boy starred at me but this time his eyes revealed a kind of warmth. On one hand where the boy felt the warmth wearing the sweater I gave him, on the other hand he made me feel a certain kind of warmth of helping that soul. It may be not a very big thing for others but for me it became one. There is nothing more eventful than seeing the tears of gratitude in the eyes of others.
What I mean here is that, the important step is to search for a meaning in life without which life becomes routine. We should know that connection between what we are and what we ultimately become. Remember that there are no absolutes in life. Corruption and honesty, selfishness and selflessness, living for others and living for oneself are not absolutes; everything is comparative. There is no simple answer for all the problems of life. That is why the serenity prayer says: “God give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Duke of Willington who was is dire need of money came to India to serve, earn and marry a heiress in England. While on a campaign in the south, the Prime Minister of the Nizam wanted to get some information about the deployment of the British soldiers. The Prime Minister offered him ten lakhs of rupees for this gesture. Although in dire need of money, he refused. Willington returned to England almost a poor man. The pretty heiress suffered a small pox attack, which disfigured her face. She appeared before Willington in a veil but he did not vacillate, deviate or shift his decision. He married her and the rest is history. There is nothing absolute in life; everything hinges on circumstances.
There was a new nurse who happened to be part of a surgical team. It was her first participation in a surgery. She was responsible to account for all the instruments and aids used in the surgery. When the surgery was over, the Surgeon was about to stitch the wound. The nurse intervened and said that two cotton swabs were missing. The doctor said that, afterall, it was only cotton and ignored her comments. The nurse insisted that the doctor cannot suture the wound without accounting for the cotton. The doctor lifted his foot and showed her the two cotton swabs and said: “You will go far in your profession. My blessings are with you.”
Perhaps, the desire to find a meaning in life is part of human nature and it is something to be celebrated rather than something to be worried about. Desire is what pushes us forward and urges us to go into action. Many people spend their lives getting ready to live. They deprive themselves of daily fulfillment by postponing happiness, in favour of some future success, which may never happen. Go for it and get it now! We cannot wait for something to happen in life. The majority of people in this world are ordinary like clerks, waiters, nurses and labourers. These people are also happy because they also derive a meaning out of life!
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Parental Guidance Is Priceless
THE dictionary meaning of 'Parent' is one who has begotten or borne offspring,father or mother or a person who has adopted a child.
But,according to me parents are the most purest priceless form of gift that God can ever gift a human being in his entire life.Its so painful to see some children of our society who are deprived of this priceless gift and whom we know as orphans.These children live in the orphanages without knowing what their future would be and may be there is no one to show them the right path as to,which will lead to their aim or what we commonly know as'Manzil' of their life.
We lucky ones do not understand their value in our life,the light and guidance they(parents) provide throughout our life which not only keeps us away from the darkness of life but also from the negatives.
We would find different kinds of parents in our society.Honestly speaking, each of their child would have atleast felt once that 'Kash mein us uncle/aunty ka beta/beti hoti'.Many of you reading this might by now have said,that 'no', I would never say so.Then let me ask you,from deep down heart,how many would not like Mr.Bacchhan to his/her Dad or Mrs.Sonia Gandhi to be his/her Mom.But the reality which we fail to understand is that,sometime even these priveleged children wanted to be someone else's children.
Exceptions are always there,like one of them being myself.Wherever,whenever and however you ask,i would never want to be somebody else's daughter,other than of my parents.They are no different from usual parents that we get to see in our society.But to me they are priceless.They are like two strong pillars of my life.They do have a laugh with us,sometimes scolds us and sometime ever keep their hand a bit hard on our backs.But all these are part of our life.Can we imagine a life without all these? Quite impossible isn't it? For me it has become a habit,rather a bad habit that unless I hear my mom shouting from the kitchen in the morning, I do not feel like getting up from my bed, I feel its not yet morning.
Parents play a very strong,powerful,caring and an emotional role in a child's life.They bring up their children so tenderly,without so much of care and expectations of their child's education,job,marriage and yet setting down and attaining a respectable position in our society.But do we take our parents so seriously?
What would be the best ever birthday gift you could get from your parents.A mobile phone,a laptop,a 2 wheeler,a denim jacket,etc,etc? But I would say,the best ever gift we could get from them would be a kiss on our forehead and their blessings.Can you suggest an alternative to this gift?
But one question has always troubled me,as to why is the number of old-age homes increasing.When the time has finally come to serve our parents and pay our thanks to them,are we children so much preoccupied by worldly matters that parents do not matter any more.I was shocked to hear a person say "What have my parents done for me all these years and afterall it was their duty to do the basic things that they have done for me".So,if its the duty of parents to provide the basic needs to their children,then is it not the child's duty to look after them in their old-age.By doing this are we doing something extra for them?
I take this opportunity to sincerely request our youth,the young generation to please,please take care of their parents,when they need you the most do not betray; them.However harsh, strict or cruel your parents may be to you(which I hope they'll never be and even if they are its for your own good) atleast they were the people who brought you to this wonderful world and made you capable of living in this world.Do not try to understand your parents rather just love them a lot.For me my parents are my Priceless Possession.
"I SALUTE OUR PARENTS"
But,according to me parents are the most purest priceless form of gift that God can ever gift a human being in his entire life.Its so painful to see some children of our society who are deprived of this priceless gift and whom we know as orphans.These children live in the orphanages without knowing what their future would be and may be there is no one to show them the right path as to,which will lead to their aim or what we commonly know as'Manzil' of their life.
We lucky ones do not understand their value in our life,the light and guidance they(parents) provide throughout our life which not only keeps us away from the darkness of life but also from the negatives.
We would find different kinds of parents in our society.Honestly speaking, each of their child would have atleast felt once that 'Kash mein us uncle/aunty ka beta/beti hoti'.Many of you reading this might by now have said,that 'no', I would never say so.Then let me ask you,from deep down heart,how many would not like Mr.Bacchhan to his/her Dad or Mrs.Sonia Gandhi to be his/her Mom.But the reality which we fail to understand is that,sometime even these priveleged children wanted to be someone else's children.
Exceptions are always there,like one of them being myself.Wherever,whenever and however you ask,i would never want to be somebody else's daughter,other than of my parents.They are no different from usual parents that we get to see in our society.But to me they are priceless.They are like two strong pillars of my life.They do have a laugh with us,sometimes scolds us and sometime ever keep their hand a bit hard on our backs.But all these are part of our life.Can we imagine a life without all these? Quite impossible isn't it? For me it has become a habit,rather a bad habit that unless I hear my mom shouting from the kitchen in the morning, I do not feel like getting up from my bed, I feel its not yet morning.
Parents play a very strong,powerful,caring and an emotional role in a child's life.They bring up their children so tenderly,without so much of care and expectations of their child's education,job,marriage and yet setting down and attaining a respectable position in our society.But do we take our parents so seriously?
What would be the best ever birthday gift you could get from your parents.A mobile phone,a laptop,a 2 wheeler,a denim jacket,etc,etc? But I would say,the best ever gift we could get from them would be a kiss on our forehead and their blessings.Can you suggest an alternative to this gift?
But one question has always troubled me,as to why is the number of old-age homes increasing.When the time has finally come to serve our parents and pay our thanks to them,are we children so much preoccupied by worldly matters that parents do not matter any more.I was shocked to hear a person say "What have my parents done for me all these years and afterall it was their duty to do the basic things that they have done for me".So,if its the duty of parents to provide the basic needs to their children,then is it not the child's duty to look after them in their old-age.By doing this are we doing something extra for them?
I take this opportunity to sincerely request our youth,the young generation to please,please take care of their parents,when they need you the most do not betray; them.However harsh, strict or cruel your parents may be to you(which I hope they'll never be and even if they are its for your own good) atleast they were the people who brought you to this wonderful world and made you capable of living in this world.Do not try to understand your parents rather just love them a lot.For me my parents are my Priceless Possession.
"I SALUTE OUR PARENTS"
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